The false hope of Bio-Spira

One of my patients recently asked me for advice on breaking in a new fish tank using Bio-Spira. She has a 20 gallon (long) that she intends to fill with a classic live-breeder mix of guppies, mollies and swordtails, and basically doesn’t want to deal with waiting out the nitrogen cycle. She heard about Bio-Spira in a trade magazine and asked me if it was worth trying if she could find a pet store that stocked it. The following is my emailed response, with some after the fact additions for the blog:

Dear (name deleted)
There are, generally speaking, two schools of thought on the topic of Bio-Spira. There are those who believe it is the most important innovation in the history of tropical fish-keeping since the invention of adjustable coil heater, while there are others who view it as a devils brew designed for amateurs and lazy dilettantes who will probably end up killing their fish due to incompetence anyway.

I am no expert on Bio-Spira, but I lean towards the “devil‘s brew“ camp. Last year during an unfortunate ick outbreak I had to get one of those 12 gallon Marineland Eclipse nightmares running as quickly as possible for service as a hospital tank (readers of the old blog remember this incident well). I forked over sixteen dollars for a satchel of the stuff and threw it in with a healthy beta and three red eye tetras. All of the fish survived, but I developed some serious reservations about the product. Here is why.

Bio-Spira tries to eliminate the danger of “new tank syndrome” by introducing the same bacteria that are produced naturally in the ammonia break-down process, only en masse (rather than the small colonies that usually begin a tank cycle) and prior to the production of ammonia wastes. Thus, the bacteria begin growing along with the waste as it is produced. Thus, you don’t have to go through the challenge of preserving your patience (or, probably more likely, your children’s) during the usual 3-5 week period it can take to break a tank in “the old way.” That, at least, is what Marineland wants you to believe.

When I used Bio-Spira, my beta had already lived in the tank for a day, but I had no significant ammonia readings when I put the stuff in. Over the course of seven days, however, my ammonia count climbed to 1.5 ppm, and during the second and third week I had nitrate readings in the same range. These levels are high enough to kill delicate breeds, and it’s only because I put a hardy beta and tough-as-nails tetras that they survived.

Now, if the package said that “this product is useless if you toss it in the tank after your beta’s been swimming in it for a day,” I’d fully accept that it was my fault, and that these readings were to be expected. However, the product clearly advertises itself as a not only for new tanks, but also to bolster the bacteria levels in existing tanks.

Furthermore, if the whole point of modern fish keeping is to emulate the “biotope” concept popularized by the late disgraced philanthropist Dr. Herbert Axlerod, then what benefit is there to hastening a cycle that naturally takes a certain amount of time to finish? I am not suggesting that a tank broken in with Bio-Spira will have an insufficient bacteria bed, but I am suggesting that a tank broken in the natural way will have a better balance, and will probably have less potential for a breakdown if ammonia levels start to rise due to new fish births or over-feeding.

In short, Bio-Spira is like all corner cutting products - it is fine if you don’t care that much about the results, but inappropriate to those who pride themselves in doing things properly. Save your money, take your time and do it the right way.

yrs,
Dr. A. Chestnutt

THE DEPRESSING TRUTH ABOUT MARCUS BANKS

History will probably not reflect poorly on the Celtics for choosing Marcus Banks over Jumaine Jones in the "asset relocation" of the Gary Payton trade, but that’s only because the stakes were so low. Take a look in six years at who’s still in the league, however, and it’s likely that Jumaine Jones will still be plugging along in his serviceable run as a career backup, while Marcus Banks will be part owner of a Las Vegas Ford dealership, wondering where it all went wrong.

Short of a miraculous rebirth as the 10 mpg “wacky headband wearing energy guy off the bench,” the Boston Celtics chapter of the Marcus Banks story is almost at a close - Doc Rivers has signed the execution order and it’s only a matter of time before Banks is shipped out again, with his reputation as an uncoachable prima donna paving the way for the inevitable “change of scenery” excuses his agent will toss to the press. It will be a fitting end to an unsatisfying run for Marcus Banks in Boston, and it’s one destined to serve as a punch line for cruel jokes about the failures of the Ainge era.

While frustrating for Celtics fans, it is not entirely Banks’ fault. Banks entered the league in the unenviable position as the pet player of an executive who many dismiss as an outright fool. It was Ainge who pumped him up as the point guard of the future based on nothing more than athleticism and a shaky three year college career. It was Ainge who trotted him out in front of the masses as a false savior, a salesman trying to convince the rest of us that HIS draft wasn’t a repeat of the Johnson/Kedrick/Forte debacle.

It’s ironic, because Celtics fans probably could have forgiven Danny for drafting long shot prospects in the middle of a thin crop (just look at those who still cling to the belief that Kendrick Perkins will one day be a starting center in the league), but hearing the Pitino-esque statements of vision/potential/The Future riled up the believers and sent the cynics sharpening their knives. A genuine stud would have had a tough enough time in this environment, but a stiff like Banks was doomed. There was nowhere for him to hide on the basketball court, and no amount of spin to undo what everyone could plainly see - the dude was simply not that good.

So Banks gave it a go for a whole season under a coach who could not care less about him (O’Brien) and a coach who couldn‘t control him (Carroll). He got outplayed at the point by a second string shooting guard (Mike James), and eventually sat for good when Ainge gave the keys of the kingdom to Joe Dumars in exchange for two months of Chucky Atkins. All the while Ainge told us that the train was still on the tracks, and this was all part of the grand plan.
It was the Atkins trade, however, that proved even Ainge knew that Banks was (at best) a misjudgment, and Kupchak letting him go in the Payton trade was only a cruel affirmation of the league’s general opinion of his play. This was obvious to any and all who cared to watch last year with a critical eye and ignored the (albeit amusing) Heinsohn/Ainge spin.

First of all, Banks is not a point guard - he has no court vision, he’s a dribbler instead of a passer, he’s out of control, he makes bad decisions, and he has the unbreakable mentality of a college scorer. Put Banks in a developmental league setting and run the offense through him, and you’ll get a guy who leads the league in scoring and turnovers, playing on a team that never wins. He’s Jamal Crawford without the height or jumpshot. Or Stephon Marbury with one tenth of the talent. He’s everything that people who hated the Olympic team criticized about the NBA. How many times last season would Banks pound the ball at the top of the perimeter while four vastly more talented players ran around begging for him to pass the ball? This is not the stuff of a future Jason Kidd, let alone an average starting NBA point guard.

Secondly, and this will be disputed by some, but Banks is a headcase. He has proven to be immature, egotistical, and has already alienated his new coach as much as he did the previous ones. He’s more concerned with having the ball in his hands then putting it in the hoop. He’s the kind of guy who knows his shooting percentage in Nerf basketball. Poison for a young team, and even worse for a franchise that was trying to turn it around last year with marginal players and an untested coach.

The incident where he refused to shoot the ball from half court with time expiring because, as he put it, “it wasn’t in my range,” is a perfect example of why his athleticism will never surmount his attitude. These are the kinds of things that just don’t get better with time, and can only be masked by good coaching. You can say all you want about “learning experiences,” but when the internal compass does not point towards winning ball, it‘s unlikely to ever shift. Paul Pierce may take a lot of bad shots, but he’d jump in front of a train for a win, and that’s something Marcus doesn’t understand, and couldn’t possibly ever learn.

Add in the fact that his family had to move in with him during the season, the disaster of the summer leagues, the fact that Pierce lauded the Payton trade with a subtle dig about trading potential for proven talent, and we get a picture of a young man who came into the league way over his head who hasn’t endeared himself to many in the course of trying to find his way. Is he Joe Forte minus the Scooby Doo shirt? No, not that bad, but there’s nothing he gives us that a hungry, highly coachable kid from a good college program (Delonte West) couldn’t provide, and without the attendant headaches. West has already been painted by EVERYONE as the anti-Banks, and anything short of an absolute meltdown on his part is going to be viewed/touted as an upgrade.

This is where Ainge gets some credit, and where we have to remember that when he said 2003-2004 meant nothing to him, he was telling the absolute truth. Even the players he acquired in the name of rebuilding were pieces to be moved later, and when Doc gave him the assessment that his pet player wasn’t going to cut it on the new squad, Ainge made the smart move of sending him packing, regardless of how hard he got slammed by Shira Springer and Peter May. That the Lakers handed him back for Jumaine Jones is simply proof that certain people in the NBA still quietly value smart, coachable players over athletic head cases. That is, once they’ve been on an NBA court and shown they can’t hack it.

To me the vital question about Marcus Banks remains - will his rookie contract be his last? I believe so based purely on the gut feeling that the less and less he plays, the worse his attitude is going to get. As Doc said, “he might ‘get it’ some day,” but right now his career is hanging over a precipice that should have become readily apparent following the Lakers incident. The embarrassing comments made by his agent that the Lakers “weren’t trading for Chucky Atkins” when in fact they were, should only drive the point home to Marcus that his talents don’t give him an excuse to put his development on cruise control. That second contract isn’t going to happen for a guy who doesn‘t learn the lessons that have been written out for him in very large type.

The best thing that could happen to Banks now would be to get traded to the Bulls or the Bobcats where he could fulfill his destiny as being an exciting player on a terrible team. A fan favorite in the land of the doomed. A loser surrounded by losers who aren‘t as fast as him. A place where no one calls a guy with his kind of natural talent a stiff, no matter how poorly he plays the game of basketball.

That’s why no matter how long he stays with us, the Celtics will never be his home.

Introduction

Welcome to "I Hate Waltah... and other observations" the official blog of Dr. Alphonsus Chestnutt M.D.

Due to the Doctor's busy practice, postings will be limited to his observations regarding the play the Boston Celtics and answers to questions about high-quality tropical fish-keeping. The Doctor is a certified expert in both fields, so feel free to test him.

Special circumstances (ie: the Doctor winning powerball, UFO landings in the Doctor's proximity, romantic conquests) will receive mention on occasion, if warranted. As the Doctor's personal assistant, I will post observations and comments when the Doctor 'hits a lull.'

Until then, I remain the Doctor's faithful transcriber.
-Kimberly Dier